The Hand of Fatima


The Hand of Fatima?

This site is dedicated to exposing the dangers of self-service  in our libraries. The self-service culture that often means no service at all. How many times have you been told that ‘your call is important to us…’ and then been left dangling for ten minutes while listening to some awful mullet-inducing soft rock?  How many times have you tried to find an individual not an automaton, a phone number not an email,  and been presented with a series of options that do no correspond to your ‘problem?’ A question specific to the libraries and the population of elderly readers is — are they ready for the new technology?

A librarian from Hull reported seeing an elderly man feeding  the sorter a cheese sandwich. Luckily, there were no chopped onions but the entire library system crashed trying to read the old boy’s lunch.  Please send me all your pictures of accidents in the workplace– bodies crushed between the rolling shelves, staff accidentally velcroed to the notice board etc.

A library manager from Kent, I won’t mention his actual library in case there is a sudden influx of pilgrims (although that might solve his problem with footfall), told  me of a supernatural phenomenon when he starts up his sorter. I  haven’t been able to vouch for the truth of his story but I’ve got to say, the image  strikes me as completely genuine.

HopHead‘I can’t believe it ,’ he said still aghast and downing  his seventh pint of Hophead from the local micro-brewery, ‘We’ve only got the Hand of Fatima reaching out in the white light when we start-up the sorter.  No one’s disrespectful enough to make actual contact with the hand but we look upon it as  having talismanic powers… it wards off the evil eye and angry customers too! Since it appeared last Wednesday customer complaints are down by 15 %– you couldn’t make it up if you tried.’ Tied into the hand’s appearance is a wave of sudden pregnancies amongst staff.  ‘It gives me the willies just to think about it. We’ve had the sorter blessed by the Rabbi to make sure it’s all halal…’


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